10 signs of a true friendship that is made to last

 

People have a tendency to only focus on the negative side of things. They look for ways to identify false friends, toxic individuals, people who try to take advantage of them. But what about the true friends, the people who are actually good to and for you? Can you also identify the signs of a true friendship?

 

10 signs of a true friendship that is made to last

A true friendship is normally associated with a long time span, the childhood friends that stuck by one’s side all along. But reality can be very different. It’s not about the time you have known each other or spent with each other. It’s about the connection, the relationship that links you together.

 

1. They meet you halfway

You never feel like you’re the one always reaching out to talk or to plan a meeting. Likewise, you never feel like your friend is always trying to arrange something. Today you might be the one making the first contact, and tomorrow it will be your friend.

You simply don’t keep tabs on each other because everything just comes naturally.

 

2. You celebrate your victories together

When you achieve an important goal or managed to do something important and hard for you, that friend immediately comes to your mind. That’s the person you want celebrating with you because you also feel that your friend will be truly happy too!

And it works both ways. You rejoice every time your friend achieves something as if it was your own victory. You want to celebrate it with them and they want you to do it too.

 

3. And you cry together too

When one is feeling down, the other is right there. Your friend is always there in the darkest hours to support you, to listen to you, to cry with you, to cheer you up or to put some sense into your head. Whatever is needed.

You are also always there for them without even questioning it. You don’t feel annoyed or bored that they are not their fun selves. Instead, you worry about them. You wonder how they are feeling, if they need anything and about what you can do to help them.

 

4. They telling it as it comes, but stick around

If you want to look for signs of a true friendship look no further than their lies. A true friend won’t sugar coat it, they will tell you how things are right away because they have only one thing in mind: your well-being.

They also expect you to expect nothing but the truth from them because that’s the way they see your relationship. However, even when you choose to ignore their advice, they will still keep by your side. They will accept it and simply make sure to be there to celebrate in case they were wrong, or to support you if things go amiss.

You still might hear a “I told you so”, but it’s not a happy one. It’s more of a “I told you so, you fool, now we’re both sad and worried!”

 

5. Procrastination 101

One of the most distinctive signs of a true friendship is procrastination. You might plan one thousand things to do the next time you get together but when the time comes, you’ll just stay put. You meet for a coffee before going to do some fun activity and 4h later you still sitting in the same spot and you are nowhere close to finishing your talk.

The opposite also happens. You can just sit quietly watching a movie or playing on your phone. The point is, you don’t feel any pressure to act in a certain way or to break the silence. Being side-by-side with your friend is enough.

 

6. You share secrets no one else knows about

You’ve been together through good and bad moments. You’ve seen each other at your worst and at your best, so you’re bound to know secrets about each other that no one else does, because…

 

7. There’s no judgment

You don’t censor yourself when you’re together. You don’t watch what you say for fear of what the other might think. When a friendship is for real, you know you can be your true self and you expect the other to feel exactly the same because you don’t judge either.

You also don’t try to justify your feelings. Instead, you put them out there and try to figure out together where their stem from and what you can do about them.

 

8. Distance has no power over your friendship

Even if you live far away from one another and can barely see each other in the flesh, it doesn’t matter. You’re always in touch without even thinking about it.

Most likely, you speak every day through social media, on the phone or through email. You might not even say “Hi” anymore or ask how the other has been, because you just go straight into business and that business can be anything, truly anything.

 

9. There’s no jealousy

In a true friendship you know there is no need to be jealous or possessive. You’re 100% confident on your relationship. You understand each of you has his or her own life, you have other friends, maybe a partner, you do fun things with other people too. It doesn’t matter.

If anything, it’s even a positive thing that you have separate lives. There’s more room for gossip and new topics to talk about.

 

10. Forgiveness

A row between true friends is nothing short of drama. Shouts will be heard, tears might flow endlessly, you might swear to hate each other but, in the end, everything will be fine.

It’s normal for people to fight, especially when they are so close, but because you know each other so well and in your raw forms, you understand each other. Once you calm down, you are able to comprehend the other’s point of you and even if you believe to be in the right, you can forgive.

 

Did you recognize any of the signs of a true friendship?

While reading these 10 signs of a true friendship did you think of someone right away? Then give them a shout! Tell them you thought and care for them too. Cherish your true friends because they are really hard to come by.

And, most importantly, pay attention to toxic friends. The line that separates a real companion from a fake one is sometimes hard to tell because the latter also stick to your side, only that he or she has bad intentions when doing it.

The 9 rules of rich people and how to follow them

 

Rich people are cases of success that people look up to trying to find the formula to make as they did. Everyone can set up goals for themselves and be motivated to reach them, but the rules of rich people are slightly different from those of the average population. Even those born into money need to have a particular mindset in order to thrive and don’t lose it all.

 

9 Rules of rich people you should be following

Rich people didn’t get and remain rich by cutting any slacks. They have the right mindset for generating and retaining revenue and that’s what makes them thrive while others struggle to make end needs.

Even if you’re not fortunate enough to be born into money or to be living a comfortable life, changing your mindset to match that of successful people can have a greater impact than you might think.

 

Surround yourself with the right people

You learn and evolve by exchanging experiences and talking with the people surrounding you. Having the right network is fundamental if you want to get and stay rich.

If you hang around people as or more successful than you, it doesn’t matter if you’re not in the same trade, you will be given insights that no one else has. You will know what is going on in the world, what are the latest developments and tendencies, not through the newspapers but before this info even reaches them.

Time is power, and if you know what movements and deals are being made before anyone else, you can act to take advantage of the situation quicker too.

 

Wake up early

Mornings are the moment of the day when the body is more active and you have a clearer mind. Even if you wake up in a bad mood or feeling drowsy, once you start going you’re full on.

One of the rules of rich people is precisely to take advantage of mornings. Don’t lay in bed until noon or chill watching TV. That’s your top moment and you should take use it to tackle the worst tasks you have for the day. This will improve your mood, make you feel more productive and as if you can deal with anything since the worst is over.

 

Exercise

You’re probably wondering why would exercise be one of the rules of rich people and yet they all seem to agree that is fundamental. Even the ones that don’t take up exercising practice at least meditation or other mindful techniques.

Rich people understand that if you burn yourself out, you can be productive. You can’t analyze the best business opportunities, the pitfalls ahead, and manage your money smartly if your mind is clouded by stress and your body is tense.

 

Don’t love, obsess

Once feelings and emotions are involved, your business is likely to suffer. You might love what you do, but you need to obsess about being successful.

If you’re too attached to your business, fear and doubts will cloud your judgment when an opportunity arises.

 

All goals are long-term

For rich people, there is no such thing as short-term goals. They don’t think “how to get more money now”, they think about “how to get more money”, period. Long-term decisions are usually more profitable, but few have the patience to get to them.

As a minimum, goals are set for the following 3 to 5 years always. At most, you might have short-term steps you need to take to get to get to your final objective.

 

Investing is a basic step

Since they already have enough to live comfortably, one of the rules of rich people is not to think about saving but rather how to invest.

They keep a close tab on their spendings and ensure they have financial stability. The remaining money they don’t think about how to spend it or how to enjoy luxury. They immediately wonder about different ways to invest that surplus so it generates more revenue.

 

Update your knowledge constantly

Having a good network of friends is fundamental, but you can’t rely on it to feed you all the new developments and theories that come up almost every day.

Rich people make a point to keep in touch with all the relevant information also by reading books, newspapers and relevant magazines.

 

You don’t wait for luck, you create luck

This is one of the basic rules of rich people: you don’t wait, you act. They didn’t become and remain rich by relying on luck. They create luck.

Instead of sitting down waiting for a good opportunity to happen, they take an active stance and try to find those good opportunities themselves. Luck is a consequence of their pursuit.

It wasn’t pure luck that they knew someone from Wall Street that gave them a tip over which companies to invest in. It was their work that led them to be able to invest, that allowed them to meet that certain person and that made them charm the individual enough that he or she felt compelled to share the tip.

 

You set big expectations

You only set low expectations for something when you are afraid of failing or of being disappointed. And because you are trying to protect yourself and only looking for security, you can never move forward.

Rich people always set big expectations. Those are the ones that keep them running and thirsty for results. They expect something big and they will actively pursue it.

Regardless of your political stance, Donald Trump is a good example of this line of thought. Everyone had low expectations for him, except Mr. Trump himself, who believed he could reach the presidency. Again, regardless of what you think of his methods, he set himself to do it and he found ways to get there.

 

3 Books you should read to get rich

As insightful as the rules of rich people might be, it will be hard to apply some of them to your life if you don’t have the money to begin with. You understand that investing is important, but when you don’t even manage to keep a savings account, this knowledge is useless to you.

What should be the first step, then? Well, to make money. Easier said than done, but the following books can give you a hand to know where to begin.

 

Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century by Napoleon Hill

Source: I am Sasha Lee

The original book was published in 1937 during the Great Depression but it became such a staple that it is now labeled the “Grandaddy of All Motivational Literature”.

In it, Hill explains the steps to money and success based on his own story, but also on those of Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison and Henry Ford, among others, cases he studied in depth to improve his own chances of succeeding.

According to the author, all it takes are 13 steps: desire, faith, autosuggestion, specialized knowledge, imagination, organized planning, decision, persistence, a mastermind, sex transmutation, a subconscious mind, a brain and a sixth sense.

The new edition comes with the analysis of Arthur R. Pell, Ph.D., an expert in applying Hill’s thought, to more recent success stories, such as those of Bill Gates, Mary Kay Ash, Dave Thomas and Sir John Templeton.

 

How to Get Rich by Felix Dennis

Source: Goodreads

Written by the publishing mogul Felix Dennis, this book has been hailed as one of the most realistic when it comes to earning money and getting rich.

It is partially a manual and a memoir, detailing the life of the author while explaining step-by-step his route to success and how you can adapt it to your own context. The reason why this book is so highly rated is that Dennis didn’t hide anything.

He recognizes and explains how sheer luck made him advance in some circumstances, he details his failures and the message he took out of each one, and he assesses his successes too and why they turn out to work.

 

The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime! by M.J. DeMarco

Source: A mixture of periodicals

The title of the book might sound fishy, as if the author had found the key to life and only he knows how to do it. But there’s a point to it, because these sort of books and mindsets is what DeMarco is set to debunk.

Notice that he is an entrepreneur, not a writer, so don’t expect any elegant writing in this book. The author cuts the chase and presents each chapter in a very straightforward way, right to the point.

He is also opinionated without imposing his views and has no qualms in taking jabs at famous speakers and authors that claim to have the sole and the right solution to get rich.

 

Don’t fake it until you make it

“Fake it until you make” is a common advice given to people. It stems from the positive idea that if you try really hard to believe in yourself, eventually you truly will. It can increase your self-esteem and make you take risks that you would otherwise be too afraid to take.

However, when it comes to money, this advice doesn’t work. Faking being rich will only lead you to spend more than you have. This is one of the rules of rich people that applies to any average Joe: if you spend more than you make, you will find yourself in debt pretty quickly.

Talking with toddlers can boost their IQ, according to science

A famous 1990 study was the first to differentiate toddlers’ vocabulary performance according to their socioeconomic background. Rich families were more likely to spend more time with toddlers, thus feeding them more complex words. Poor families, on the other hand, had a more basic vocabulary to pass on. 

 

However, a 2018 study has now shed a new light over the subject by concluding that the important thing is not to talk to toddlers, but rather talking with toddlers.

 

A study shows that talking with toddlers can increase their IQ

The importance of talking to toddlers to stimulate their vocabulary was already well-known, but a 2018 study has come to show that talking with toddlers is as or even more important.

 

The researchers analyzed toddlers between 18 and 36 months and calculated the rate of adult-toddler conversations and the amount of vocabulary used based on daylong audio recordings. 10 years later, they met the same children to evaluate their cognitive development and the results were clear.

 

The children who had maintained more conversations with adults as toddlers presented a 14% to 27% higher IQ in the categories of verbal comprehension, and receptive and/or expressive vocabulary than those we were simple receptors of vocabulary.

 

According to the researchers, a conversation implies that the child has to create and produce language. They have to put words, meanings and structures together, which stimulates areas of the brain that simply listening to someone talk doesn’t.

 

Even if the toddler cannot yet speak clearly, the effort to try to communicate will eventually result in a better and faster development of their mental capabilities.

 

Tips to boost your child’s IQ

The evaluation of someone’s IQ covers several areas. For a child, these focus on 7 points: language, information, memory, math, spatial, thinking and motor skills.

 

If you want to boost your child’s IQ these are the areas you should be focusing on. They are the primary base of development for your baby and will impact on their learning capabilities through their life.

 

Read to your child

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Reading to your child doesn’t fall into the category of talking with toddlers but it’s not a simple act of reception.

 

Not only will you be increasing their vocabulary, you will also be stimulating their imagination, their time perception and the relation between cause and consequence as they need to follow what happens to each character.

 

You can even take the opportunity to take up other areas that not vocabulary only. Ask your child to repeat the story after you finished to practice their memory, for instance. Use the book drawings to ask other developing questions too: How many trees do you see in this picture? What color is this house?

 

If you’re really into it, you can even ask your child which part of the book they would change, ask them why and request a retelling of their own. This will stimulate their memory, imagination and creativity but also their communication skills and vocabulary.

 

Introduce math early on

Mathematics is the boogie man of many children and adults alike. If you want to improve your child’s IQ then you need to make him comfortable around numbers and basic math processes.

 

Math is a subject that needs to be built up. You can’t learn complex functions if you don’t understand the basis behind 2+2=1. If you introduce them early on to your child it will become a natural rational thinking and not something he needs to consciously make an effort to think about.

 

Start with simple things. For example, “Do you want one or two candies?”, “If you have 4 french fries and eat 2, how many do you have left?” Even without realizing it, you will be talking with toddlers by doing this. You ask and expect an answer from them, so you are joining two learning processes in one.

 

These are simple processes and very easily accompanied by a visual cue, but they can make a big difference later in your child’s life.

 

Let your child explore

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Take your baby outside and let him experience the world. Let the toddler feel the rough texture of sand in their hands, smell a flower or destroy it to see what it is like inside.

Physical touch is very stimulating for young children when their brains are still developing. Just keep around in case they try to experience it with their mouths.

 

Let the tots play

If possible, let your child play with other children of the same age from early on.

Let them experience the structures and dynamics of social interactions and learn how to manage them, how it is like to make friends, how it is like to have an argument with a peer.

 

Keep talking to your child

Talking with toddlers is great but it also requires attention on your part, which can make it hard to do it for long periods of time and very often.

 

However, even when you’re running short on time or have to focus on other activities you should keep talking to your child about everything, even the most random things.

 

If you’re about to cook, start describing to your child each step you’re taking as if you were in a cooking show. When you hear a bird sing, tell the toddler to pay attention and explain the sound is coming from a bird, describe what a bird is, what they eat, what they do, etc.

 

You will be basically feeding your child with new vocabulary but also with important and educational information.

 

Let your toddler play with educational toys

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Puzzles, Lego, building blocks, these sort of toys explore the child’s creativity and imaginal but also their spatial skills and fine-motor skills.

They have to use their brains to solve the puzzles or create new shapes and toys with the blocks and Lego. They will also need to improve their fine skills, working with their fingers to build and destroy their creations.

 

Should you teach them how to read?

Why not? If you’re willing to try and have the patience to do it, then go for it. Just keep in mind that you will be dealing with a toddler whose brain is still developing. You can’t be as demanding or hard on them as you are with a pre-school child, for instance.

There are several methods and techniques to teach young children how to read. When choosing one, think primarily of your child and which technique would be more interesting or suitable for them.

6 Tips To Deal With Rude People Without Losing Your Mind

 

Everyone has a work colleague or knows someone who is an adept of rudeness. Some people seem to not even realize they are being rude, to others is just their normal state and then there are the ones who like to make sure you know and notice their rudeness. The problem is how to deal with rude people without being rude yourself and entering into a conflict.

 

To deal with rude people the key is having patience. Loads and loads of patience. Take deep breaths to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and use one of the following tricks to deal with the situation.

 

Empathize

One of the best ways to deal with rude people and the anger or stress they cause you is by trying to empathize. Instead of taking it personally, assess the other individual to understand the underlying reasons for their rudeness.

 

Maybe they are just having a bad they and they don’t realize they are taking it on you. They could be facing problems of their own at home or at work, they need to vent it out and you were caught in the middle.

 

Empathizing doesn’t mean to excuse their behavior, but it will make it easier to cope with their rudeness and avoid letting it get under your skin.

 

Remember you are rude too

Maybe not today or tomorrow, but at some point, you are bound to be rude too. You may have a bad day, a project deadline coming up fast and stressing you out, your children are sick and you’re worried, for instance, and you end up speaking harsher than necessary to people.

 

It happens. Try to keep that in mind when you have to deal with rude people and remember that, because they are being rude, it doesn’t mean they are bad people.

 

Be the example

If you’re having to deal with a rude person, try to not take the bait and lead by example. Always treat others and you would like to be treated. If they are rude, be polite. If they have an angry face, smile.

 

Never respond in kind. If you are hostile to the rude waiter serving you, he will continue to be rude. But if you are polite, he may change his stand.

 

Laugh it off

Try to come out with a witty joke to soothe the tension between you and the rude person. If you can’t come up with anything, try to take it lightly, shrug your shoulders, smile, walk away and forget about it.

 

Avoid the person

If you can, try to simply avoid the rude person getting on your nerves. Keep your conversations as short and straight to the point as possible and pretend your rude counterpart doesn’t exist beyond the context that has you interacting with each other.

 

When you don’t give rude people an audience, they might feel isolated and change their behavior. This is especially effective if more people do it too.

 

And don’t go around complaining about their rudeness. If your coworkers come to talk to you about it, just dismiss the subject. Talking about it can blow the situation out of proportions and make matters worse.

 

Don’t try to fix rudeness

It is not your job to fix other people and trying it can worsen the situation. Maybe their rudeness is caused by low self-esteem, maybe they are facing problems of their own, whatever the situation is up to them to solve it.

Just answer with kindness, try to be helpful if you feel that’s what they are looking for and move on.

 

What causes rudeness

Rudeness can stem from many sources. It can be a power-play instrument or a simple consequence of having faced a stressful situation before. People with low self-esteem can also use rudeness as a strategy to make themselves feel and act superior to others.

The most common causes of rudeness are:

• Personal problems
• Overstress
• Emotional immaturity
• Learned behavior
• Cultural differences
• Low self-esteem
• Personality disorders

None of these excuses the rude behavior, but knowing them can make it easier for you to empathize and not taking their bad behavior personally.

 

Rudeness vs bullying/harassment

The line separating these can be hard to tell sometimes. While the best way to deal with rude people is to play it down and don’t let it under your skin, when it comes to bullying or harassment you need to take a stand or the issue will escalate from there.

 

Don’t enter into a conflict, but speak your mind and put your foot down to let the other person know you won’t tolerate that sort of behavior. Do it politely, though, as it is the best way to disarm the other. They are looking for a reaction and an excuse for conflict but if you keep your cool and answer in a polite manner they won’t know how to react.

The 8 Steps To Happiness, According To Science

 

Happiness is everyone’s ultimate goal and yet few seem to achieve it. There is always something in the way. Money, time constrictions, work, even rain can bring your mood down. But that’s because you are mistaken about the steps to happiness.

 

8 steps to happiness

The steps to happiness are not made of a solid material where you can rest your foot comfortably without fears of it vanishing. They are within yourself and you are the one who can make them firm or ethereal by constantly working on them.

 

Smile and the world will smile back

According to a 2013 study, fake smiling, especially when you do it for work reasons where you need to act happy, can increase your stress and anxiety levels. In the long-run, it is also likely to lead to insomnia and emotional exhaustion.

However, if you make your smile real by having positive thoughts or by keeping retrieving happy memories, everything can change. A 2015 experiment proved that when you smile more and use a real smile at that, your world perception changes.

The researchers concluded that your positivism impacts on the perception of other people’s faces, and you are less likely to notice their frowns or worried eyes while your brain focuses instead on the soothing and happy features.

 

Help others

Helping others might be perceived as a task or another source of stress, and it’s frequently just like that when you are doing it. However, afterwards, you are left with a feeling of accomplishment. You feel that you made the difference even if just for a bit, which improves your mood and leaves you closer to happiness.

This feeling was tested already in 2008, when in a trial the subjects were divided into two groups and given money either to buy something for themselves and for someone else. Surprisingly enough, at the end of the experiment, the group who assigned to give something to a third person scored significantly higher in happiness feelings than the group who bought themselves a gift.

 

Keep in touch with friends and family

Loneliness is a pandemic issue nowadays, curiously the moment when everyone is more connected than ever. Depression and anxiety follow as people feel isolated and the brain tries to find the answer for your state.

To find the steps to happiness you just need to turn the situation upside down. If being and feeling alone affects you so much, be in touch. You don’t need to make new friends every day, but at least keep actively in touch with the ones you already have and with your family.

Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse, decided to gather the top 5 regrets of people on their deathbed. Number 4? “I wish I stayed in touch with my friends“.

 

Sleep more

Not sleeping enough hours can have dire consequences for one’s health. Sleep deprivation can affect both the body and the mind’s well-being, as it decreases the time they have to recover and restore itself after a long day.

To take your first steps to happiness, sleeping more is fundamental. According to a 2011 study, REM sleep aids at recalibrating the sensitivity of the human brain to certain emotions. The individuals who slept more and took naps were less likely to be affected by negative thoughts and energies, and to display anger or fear. Instead, they were sensitive and receptive to positive emotional stimuli and presented higher levels of perceived happiness.

 

Exercise

Exercising triggers the release of endorphins, the so-called “happy hormones”. These neurotransmitters are produced in the pituitary gland and central nervous systems as a response to pain, working in a similar way as opioids.

As exercising strains the body, the brain immediately signals for the release of these hormones, which explains the “runner’s high” feeling.

Physical exercise is also a great strategy to fight stress, as it aids in releasing the muscle tension and the attention paid to breathing and the movements distract the mind from any problems troubling it.

 

Meditate

Meditation is becoming an increasingly common activity and it’s not all “ohms”.

There are several techniques that you can perform anywhere at any moment that soothes your emotions, relieves stress and promotes more self-awareness.

In a 2011 study, the researchers concluded that meditation lessens the response to negative stimuli to the emotional load, but good stimuli were not affected. These findings were supported by a 2012 study that concluded that meditation increases emotional awareness, which gives you an opportunity to analyze your feelings more rationally and distinguish between the ones that matter and the ones that don’t.

However, this is not just a case of a temporary “feel-good” moment. Mediation is one of the steps to happiness because it can change the brain structure, according to a 2017 study. As you continuously practice meditation and mindfulness, the brain starts to readjust its connections assuming that you state of peace and joy is supposed to be your normal state.

 

Write down what you are grateful for

When you get home after work and rewind your day, you will probably remember first all the bad things that happened. People tend to retrieve bad memories and remember them better than the good ones. But you can train yourself to be more positive and attract good energies.

In a 2012 trial, the researchers asked 219 men and women to write 3 letters of gratitude for 3 weeks, with the individuals reporting an increased sense of happiness and life satisfaction. These results corroborate a different 2003 study that concluded that “a conscious focus on blessings may have emotional and interpersonal benefits”.

It might be hard at first to focus or to find things to be grateful every day, but after a while, your brain will be trained to pick them quicker. It will be easier for you to retrieve more positive thoughts and memories and to be grateful and satisfied with yourself.

 

Be more like the elderly

According to a 2013 review of the literature relating emotions and aging, older adults tend to be happier than younger ones.

There isn’t yet a clear explanation of why this happens, but the researchers suggest it could be because it eventually becomes easier for them to recall good memories instead of the bad ones. Meditation and practice mindfulness can help you achieve this too, but there is another factor to considerate: age.

How many times have you heard an elderly say “I’m too old for this”? They simply refuse to lose their precious time left doing things they don’t like or spending time with those they don’t care about. Instead, they try to enjoy their life by enrolling in activities they enjoy and spending more time with friends and family.

 

What makes a good life?

People tend to focus on their material goods as a measure of happiness. Or they compare their lives to those they see on social media and rejoice every time theirs seems to be more interesting because that would mean they are happier too. Maybe not happy, but happier.

One of the reasons why it is so hard to climb the steps to happiness is that most individuals are going through a different set of stairs altogether or they try to take the lift, the easy way to do it. Just enjoy life and don’t worry too much about it.