Bringing a woman to orgasm has little to do with pornographic skills. The key is spending more time on foreplay and learning about the two spots that, when stimulated, can lead to a female orgasm.
It also doesn't hurt to understand which sexual positions provide the best chance for orgasm. (Hint: The missionary position isn’t one of them!) Read on to discover the top three secrets to the female orgasm.
1. Spend More Time on Foreplay
You may be aroused and ready to go from the minute she gives you a sexy glance. But many women need plenty of physical and emotional stimulation to become aroused, lubricated, and primed for an orgasm. That's why foreplay is so crucial.
The key is to emphasize the "play" in foreplay. It's shouldn't be rushed or treated like an obligatory task. In fact, foreplay can begin hours before sex actually occurs, and every minute of it will prepare her for an orgasm. Here are some tips for getting both of you in the mood.
- Stimulate her mentally. For some women, mental arousal is just as important as physical arousal. A sexy note or a flirtatious call during the day can get her thinking about your upcoming liaison. Candles, fresh flowers, and mood music can also create a loving and sensuous atmosphere. For many women, closeness and emotional intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences and more orgasms.
- Use a tender touch. Caressing her gently can create sexual tension before you go any further. Hug her, hold her hand, or touch her thigh. Female orgasm is more likely to happen if, when you're kissing a woman, you let your hands roam to more erotic regions of her body. (Another hint: Yes, the breasts are an erogenous zone, but they're not the only one! Try stroking her back or her thighs, or sliding your fingers into her hair.)
- Take kissing to the next level. Kissing is essential to foreplay. Discovering new places to kiss that turn her on is both fun and rewarding. Try the back of her neck or her shoulders for starters.
- Don't forget to talk. Women tend to be more verbal, and hearing how good she's making you feel can help her open up and have fun.
2. Know Her Sweet Spots
There are two places on the body that are critical to female orgasm. Here's how to stimulate them so she can achieve orgasm.
- The clitoris This tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings and can be found near the top of the vulva. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called the "clitoral hood," which keeps it from being stimulated all the time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once she's aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become erect.
- The G-spot This other orgasmic area is located inside the vagina. It's a bundle of nerve endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your palm facing up, then curl your finger up. Be warned — some women love having their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this sensitive area. Explore different techniques and ask your partner which she likes best.
3. Try Female-Friendly Sexual Positions
Given what you've just learned, you can pretty much guess that the best sexual positions for female orgasm involve those that provide maximum stimulation to the clitoris or G-spot (or both!). These positions include:
- Woman on top This position provides some of the best stimulation of the G-spot, given the angle of the penis. She also can move her body in a way that stimulates her clitoris.
- Rear entry This position isn't so great for clitoral stimulation, but provides excellent penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. Either of you can reach under during sex to rub the clitoris.
- Sitting Having your partner sit on your lap allows for both deep penetration and good clitoral stimulation. It also provides plenty of intimacy.
Notice that the missionary position isn't on this list? It's difficult for a man to stimulate the clitoris when he's on top, unless he really grinds his pelvis into his partner. The angle of penetration is also all wrong for G-spot stimulation.Still having trouble? Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for feedback, to make sure she likes what you’re doing. Women may want to consider working with a sex therapist, or getting a medical checkup to see if any diseases or medications are affecting their ability to reach orgasm. Achieving the female orgasm may require some trial and error, but don't forget to have fun while you're trying. Your sex life will thank you.